Frequently Asked Questions
What if my partner doesn’t want to come?
You and I can begin this work ourselves. Sometimes one person is afraid to open their lives to a third party and is reluctant to participate. When they find out that you are feeling comfortable and good work is taking place, they often decide to join the sessions.
Am I doing something wrong to cause the problems in my relationship?
It is common for one person to blame themselves or the other person for problems in the relationship. I believe that each person contributes to the issues that are causing discomfort. Rarely though is one person causing the entire problem.
Will you give us your opinion about what to do?
I will bring my 40 years of experience to our work. I will point out issues and patterns that you and your partner are enacting. When someone loves another and things aren’t working, it causes a challenging dilemma. It is tempting to ask someone else to decide what to do. I would rather help you become a stronger decision maker. Be assured though, that I will be with you each step of the way as you decide what is best for you and your situation.
Do you work with other issues?
While couples counseling is a specialty, I have extensive experience with depression, anxiety and substance abuse. Often verbal and physical abuse become intertwined with chemical dependency and relationship dysfunction. Having a strong educational background, I am very familiar with learning disabilities such as ADD and other cognitive processing skills.
Do you do phone sessions?
I find it more effective to meet with people face to face. I have offices in Montecito and Santa Barbara and am happy to meet you at the location that works best for you. Phone sessions are the last alternative if meeting in person is not possible.
What are your fees?
When you contact me I will discuss with you my current fee. If this fee is a financial hardship, I am willing to discuss the situation and solve it with you.